22 February 2012

my husband...

My sweet husband wrote this amazing post over on his blog and I just had to copy it over here because it spoke to my heart so much.
This is such a great picture of just one of the many reasons I love him so much and I can not wait to see him as a dad :)
Thank you Adam for being mine...

What Adoption Means to Me
 by Adam

People often think that you would only ever want to adopt because you couldn't have your "own" kids. My adopted kiddo is going to be my own! I can't wait to hold her, tuck her in at night, and have that Superman stopping a speeding train feeling of "She is my daughter and the world can't stop us." Adoption has it's own period of waiting, hoping, worrying, and ultimately fruition as we wait for the expectant mother to come to full term. With the health issues (blood clotting) she has the baby could come any day, but she is scheduled to be induced on February 29th. Our social worker is probably going crazy because we seem to call every few days with the same questions. "When is she being induced?" "When is she ours" "Is this normal??" It's a hectic time and it's hard sometimes to put what you're thinking or feeling down to read because unlike a birth child when you have that feeling of completion, the birth of the baby doesn't signify "ours" yet. There is a lot more to do.

I have conflicted feelings about having a child taken from her birth mother. That bond will always be there and a part of me wishes it would work out for her because of it. Then the majority of me steps up and knows how much we can't wait to parent and love our child (that part wins.) Janel and I are excited to have an open adoption so that our baby knows exactly why her nose looks like that or why she likes Gloria Gaynor (from the womb lol.) I wish adoption weren't necessary, but it is, and I'm so blessed to be part of the overall tapestry and story that baby Amelia will create in this life. Our expectant mom wants a strong father figure in her baby's life, and the birth dad is a deadbeat. She will be going to school and working full time and wants a family where there aren't other children so that her baby girl can become the princess and star for a new family. No problems there! We've been prepping for 3 years now. Everyone says that everything will change. I feel the same way as I do every time I start a new job. You know that feeling when you walk by the folks in the lunch room and everyone is so strange. You walk through the building and you can't imagine ever being familiar there. The interview goes swell and you get the job but it takes a while before you are in control. Waiting for your child is kind of like that. Amelia, you're so much more worth it! Bring on the sleepless nights and the stinky diapers, I know that your smile will melt my heart. I'm waiting for that contented sigh while you nestle in to sleep. That twinkle in your eye that signifies you just made a mess. Baby girl, you are going to be trouble. But I'm ready for you. And guess what, I'm bringing backup. Let's do this sweet thing. It's time for you to join us.

When Janel and I first met through E-harmony back in March of 2008 (Our Match-a-versary is officially February 28th, and we were married the same day a year later) she asked me how I felt about adoption. I knew that I wanted kids "some day" but I wasn't knocking down the door looking for the stork to deliver that instant. It was an interesting question because my sister is adopted but I never really interpreted that as different. I know how much our family loves her and while her story is unique and she has been through a lot in her life she could show up on my doorstep tomorrow and I would give her anything within my power. Adoption is just as powerful a bond, if not more so, than birth, even when it happens later in life. Sometimes you have to work harder at communication, sometimes certain things don't come as easy, but it's no less family, no less rewarding. The best thing about adoption in my life is the victory in it for family. I love hanging out with my niece and nephew when we visit home. They are two of the best kids you could ask for and they wouldn't be in my life without adoption. Sign me up right there! And should my sister threaten to steal the whole spotlight, both my brother-in-laws were adopted too. I mean how cool is that? If there was ever a family where adoption was the norm instead of the exception it's mine. So when Janel asked how I felt about adoption it was easy to draw from a wellspring of love and answer easily, "Yes, let's do it!"

The last thing that I want to draw attention to is how greatful we are to all our friends and family for their support. In the first post you became aware of a financial need we have as this expectant mom came out of nowhere with a birth date in less than 4 weeks (we were expecting 4-6 months notice so we could utilize more normal fundraising methods.) When we got "the call" we were in shock for about a week. Then all of the sudden we realized, we need money! It's embarrasing to put yourself out there especially during a vulnerable time when your child literally depends on you being able to pay. It's tough. We give all praise to God that we have such great family, friends, church family, and readers who are ready to help! The provision is just pouring in left and right from friends I had in college, family back home, our amazing church family, Janel's awesome blog readers, and friends all around, it's so awesome! You have no idea how touched we are every time someone says, "This is for baby Amelia!" It all adds up and we are close to $6,000 raised in such a short period of time. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your help. Every one of you will be part of our daughter's story, and we can't wait to share her with ya'll.

Every time I worry about things going right with this adoption, I know it's time to pray. My favorite "don't worry" verse is Philippians 4:6. I also love 1 Corinthians 1:26-31, and I think it captures my heart and victory through adoption in Christ's family and trusting in the Lord's wisdom, not my own:

For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

Be blessed friends,


  1. I think its great that you would chose adoption as a first choice, rather than a "just because we can't produce our own biological baby". Kudos :)

  2. Oh, my... he already IS a dad... oh I hope baby Amelia comes on Feb 28th! What a cool type of 'blessing' ...lol. So excited for you guys!

  3. Talk about a tear jerker! The best part is that Adam wrote straight from his heart; straight from truth. How beautiful. May your family continue to be blessed with funds and lots of love!

  4. This is so sweet! And where did you find these hanging planter baskets? So cute!!

  5. Wow. I'm speechless. That was beautiful.


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