15 August 2014

the time i shaved my head

things i can't understand #mikebrown

As I write this, there is a "Peaceful Protester" standing less than one minute down the street asking for Justice for Mike Brown.
These are photos from a city not 15 minutes away from my house right now....

First of all, let me say, I can't even begin to understand everything that is going on with the whole situation that is happening here in St. Louis.  I know that it's heartbreaking. I know that it makes me sad every second that I see something about it online or the television.  I was in complete shock when I saw with my own eyes, down the street, as I drove home from work today... heartbreaking my friends.
I hate that this has become a race thing... and it has. I have heard comments from people in public that make me want to throw up.  Apparently, they don't see my precious little brown baby at my side.  
I had someone really close to me say, "Well, if you saw those two men walking down the street, wouldn't you be scared?"
No, no I wouldn't.  I see people like that everyday walking into my school, kissing their kiddos goodbye as they leave the building for the day.  To me, that's a dad.  That's someones son.  That is a man who has a family and people love them.
I am soooooo color-blind.  I just don't see what some people see I guess.  
My good friend Katie wrote a post about white privilege, it's eye-opening; its amazing.  It has brought so many feelings to light for me.  (Please go read it)
Just like Katie mentions in her post, many questions were brought to our attention during the countless home-studies and social worker visits before and during our adoption process of Amelia.  These questions all circled around the one resounding theme "Are you prepared to raise a black child in your white home?"
Of course we can!!
We have hundreds of books on trans-racial adoption and children's books with titles like "The Skin I'm In."  I had done a ton of research and even took a class on caring for Amelia's hair type.  Most of her baby dolls and toys are light-skinned to match her.  We have plenty of close friends and a church family full of color surrounding Amelia. 
But being the peace-loving, hippy mind-set girl that I am I was never prepared for things like this.  Katie put it into perspective for me with this one post.  One day, someone will immediately judge my daughter just because of her skin color. One day, when she isn't walking through a store and holding hands with her white mother and her white father.
Again, I have no idea what really happened this past weekend in Ferguson.  No one REALLY knows quite yet.  I do know that violence is never the answer.  HATE is NEVER the answer.
My heart is sad.
Please keep the STL in your prayers friends.
Here's a little photo from a shoot Amelia was in this past month...

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate
only love can do that."